03-12-2024

I have an English FAT tomorrow

A neighbour kid contacted me saying hes solving leetcode problems(I have never done that).

It made me feel inferior to everyone who has an idea on what they want to do.

Raghu from bus got an internship in his brother's company to study more about his business,

Hemeshwar from class is going into various hackathons to improve himself in coding side, and he's doing very well (he got into pretty good ranks).

These people made me realize that I am not doing anything, even though my dad spent a fortune getting me into VIT. I am not having an ambition for anything, or maybe I have not found it yet. One of my desires is to master or get enough knowledge about everything to become an all rounder. I have constantly changing desires and mottos which makes distractions my best friend. I want to change that. 

I have the tendency to not put any effort once the results are confirmed, which makes further improvement impossible.ex- If I know I can do something without putting effort, I will not put any effort, rather than trying to improve the result, I would accept it as it is.

Tomorrow, I have english test but I have been procrastinating since yesterday thinking "I will do it later, since english is easy". I am not putting in any effort thinking that. I still have difficult exams upcoming but all I am thinking about is tomorrow's english exam. If not english, I should be preparing for EEE and Calc exam but I am not doing that. I want to change this behavior.

I wanted to learn web development to create websites but i have not done any progress regarding learning since few months, I have been pushing it constantly by giving excuses to myself that i need to study for exams(I havent been doing that too). I am constantly engaged in distractions placed infront of me like insta, friends, youtube, corn, etc. I want to change that